none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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