He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
