At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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