checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
