so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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