Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
