i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
