Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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