You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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