I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
