Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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