what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
