So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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