At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
