; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Ambien. No doubt about it.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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