I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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