for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
As shirtless as possible
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
