Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
