I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
We need a shit load of segways right now
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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