Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize