and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
