Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
