What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
