Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
