Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
