Already got asked if we're dating
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The struggles of a small town man whore
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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