problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Is it because I queefed?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i believe in u and ur pee
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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