the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize