I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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