Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
