Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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