I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
