apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
