If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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