so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
