So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
