With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
