Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
