Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
