so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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