He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
