She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
