I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
