Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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