new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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