Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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