What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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