Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
