The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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