Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
