I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
how does that bad decision feel?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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