You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I think your dad took our porno
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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