the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
