"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You should frame my arrest warrant.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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