Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
