I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
