I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize