We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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