Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
