No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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